REVIVAL TIME

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So an estimated 30,000 Illegal Kenyan immigrants are now at the imminent risk of being deported from the USA back to Kenya.

People were hoping President Elect Trump was bluffing on his campaign promise of deporting immigrants among many other things he bluntly said- but he is indeed proving that it wasn’t all just campaign rhetoric but he is clearly staying true to his word.

I’ve ranted and raved enough on my social media sites, so this piece today is the next step- not a rant but a clear wake-up call!

You see after the big announcement last week we were all responding from a very emotional place and as expected because Trump elicited such strong emotions in his country and across the world, making the rest of us outside America to begin to look within and around and wonder and prod if this is our new reality. For me it took me back to 2007/2008 which was a very hard and trying time for Kenya- divided by Tribal lines which was never more clearer- in fact never did I feel until then that to some I was inferior because of my tribe and certain tribes more superior. It was hard to interview the IDP’s and to hear the cries of those who hurt in the middle of the night because we lived in an area that was at the heat of it all!

Forward to 2016 and Race is clearly still prevalent and sorry to say Trump only revived it- it never left he just gave it a face. He also gave a face to sexism which also sorry to say is still very much alive in our offices, when we walk on the streets, and very much so on social media too! nothing is new here- Trump just breathed life into the painful norms of society.

That said, this is still a BRILLIANT time to be alive- and the reason for that is the Revival that is now taking place, people that I’ve never heard say let’s pray are now initiating prayer, and also as a Christian never have I been this challenged to ask myself;- WHAT WOULD JESUS DO? Jesus would Love regardless, regardless of the Hate Spewing He would Love, he would preach Hope and He would keep the Faith.

There is nothing as Powerful as having compassion, being there for marginalized communities wakes you up to the Ill’s of this world and for me this has challenged me to extend a hand more often and breath life to Love over and over again without tire.

Now to move from the Spiritual aspect- People are poking fun of the Kenyans who will now be forced to come home and the meme’s started the minute they announced Trump’s win- but if you think about it soberly, this can be a great moment of Revival! a time for Africa to think for itself, to find and create our own solutions instead of looking to the west- Rise to the occasion and work together in Harmony and togetherness.

So many Africans escape to the West for Greener Pastures, some even without a plan just leave and know and believe that being there will always be much better than being here at home, which is heart-breaking! I have family members who’ve done that and each time they come home they are amazed that we can not only survive but THRIVE! and that is the opportunity this moment presents.

I know it will take time to think outside Tribal lines, but I wish and yearn for the day we would vote on Principal and Merit and not cry about Corruption and the ills that drain us and stagnate our growth. I yearn for the day when Electoral education will go to the grass-roots and preach this message, so that Serekali Saidia will be a long gone narrative- but to achieve all this we must first start by talking about it, by not hiding behind it, by being willing to hear each-other and above all Love each other first before we see Tribe or any difference-  For ultimately We are all One, We are Love and We are Strong!

Thank You Trump, for Waking us Up! May we remain as Woke come our own General Election in 2017!

Grace M

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SUN DON’T SHINE IN THE SHADE

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Most of my life I’ve played small or downplayed who I am for fear of judgement or lack of acceptance… For too long I kept my views to myself for fear of being criticized or dressed down or over-dressed my body type for fear of being shunned, but what quality of Life is that really? God has designed each and every one of us uniquely different with a great Purpose!

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I strongly believe that I am who I am now because I finally embraced all that I am and shared that with the world!

If I could quote Elizabeth Gilbert– “Embrace the Glorious Mess that you are!” because we are all so far from perfect, winging it most of the time, but don’t run away from who you are or try to change who you are to fit in a box! that would be an injustice to God’s Master Work.

For as long as you look for someone else to validate who you are, you are setting yourself up for disaster. You have to be whole and complete in yourself. No one can give you that. You have to know who you are and whose you are!

Remember the Sun don’t shine in the shade(you’ve got to say that American style;-) So stop playing small and Embrace all that you are!

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And the great thing about embracing and owning who we are is you hardly find yourself in a situation where you’re settling for less, because whenever your inner GPS is off kilter it means trouble awaits, so strive to be in tune with yourself and allow for that to lead you to make decisions.

Know that you were made to serve a purpose, and no one else has that same purpose, but one that is uniquely yours to seek and find… Where can you find it? Your maker! only your source has the hand-book! only He has the manual that will point you in the right direction.

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I’m well on my journey and excited at the prospects ahead because I know who I am! that is the most important part- know who you are and even more importantly- know who you are in the Lord for that is all that matters!- What HE says about you!

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KUMBUKA NI MUNGU PEKEE!! (Nyashinski)

 

Wearing the Brocade Collection by VIVO ACTIVE WEAR

Make-Up by WACUKA THIMBA

Hair by Mary of Black-Butterfly

Photography by KIMACHIA

Location- War Memorial Park

 

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New Season

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Happy New Month! and welcome the Season of Reflection…

What a year this has been for me, roller-coaster ride to say the least, I went through some of my darkest days this year- but one thing this year has taught me is the minute you’re just about to give up is usually the moment just before your Big BREAK-THROUGH!

October was my month of breakthroughs! My season to smile, to count my blessings and appreciate the journey, because the dark days made me stronger, humbled me, refined me and made me more aware of what I need to work on internally…

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And now I stand amazed when I smile and laugh, when I actually find myself looking back at stuff that used to bother me and I can finally laugh about it! because in those dark moments I never thought I’d make it through… But see God!

Joy always comes in the morning!!

So to anyone who may be discouraged remember that this moment too shall pass and you will surely smile again and remain confident that you see the Goodness of the Lord in the land of the living-  Psalm 27:13

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As we approach the end of yet another year granted to us- may we remain Grateful in all things, joyful in all situations and Live Enthusiastically, Forgive freely and Love with arms wide open!

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KANYE WEST- LOWLIGHTS

You want me to give you a testimony about my life
And how good he’s been to me
I don’t know what to tell you about him
I love him so much with all my heart and my soul
With every bone in my body I love him so much
Because he’s done so much for me.

Every morning
Every day of my life
I won’t always be crying tears
In the middle of the night, and I won’t always have to wake up
By myself wondering how I’m gonna get through the day
I won’t always have to think about what I’m gonna do
And how I’m gonna, how I’m gonna make it
How I’m gonna get there, because he…
He’s gonna be there for me
Some day the sky above will open up
And he will reach out his hand and guide me through
Oh yes he will
I won’t always be crying these tears
I won’t always be feeling so blue
Some day, he will open up the door for me
And call my name
Some day he will
I don’t know if anybody understands what that feels like.

No matter what you’ve been through
Or where you’ve been he’s always there
With his arms open wide
Accepting me
For who I am
And I love him so much
I couldn’t do it without him I wouldn’t want to
I’m crying now
It feels so good to be free
To be accepted for who you are and loved no matter what
Oh lord thank you
You are the joy of my life.

 

Wearing the BROCADE COLLECTION BY Wambui Kibue for VIVO ACTIVE WEAR

MAKUP By- WACUKA THIMBA

Hair by Mary of Blackbutterfly

Photography by KIMACHIA

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DO YOUR THING!

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“Do your thing. Do it unapologetically. Don’t be discouraged by criticism. You probably already know what they’re going to say. Pay no mind to the fear of failure. It’s more valuable than success. Take ownership, take chances, and have fun. And no matter what, don’t ever stop doing your thing” Ashor Roth

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I was having a conversation with my make-up artist, Wacuka as she was dolling me up for this shoot that has stuck with me days later…

You see so many times we give less of ourselves for fear of judgement or lack of acceptance and instead dim our shine or worse still feel the need to change who we essentially are to fit in! not realizing that we are in fact short changing ourselves, because we really only start to Live fully when we embrace our most Authentic Self!

When we exist from our most Authentic self, we begin to Live more honestly and come from a happier place, because we finally understand that we are who we are and uniquely who we are, so regardless of where we may be in life we won’t feel the urge to compare, to whine, to grumble, but be true to our journey, trust the process and keep learning and growing…

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“We need more people who are willing to demonstrate what it looks like to Risk and Endure failure, disappointment, and regret- people willing to feel their own hurt instead of working it out on other people, people willing to own their stories, live their values, and keep showing up” Brene Brown

To mess up you will! but keep showing up anyway! Don’t be afraid to be different, Own your story and keep doing your thing! Keep doing that thing that sparks the fire in you! keep doing that thing that makes you jump out of bed! Keep doing that thing that motivates you to be a better person each day…

“AUTHENTICITY IS THE DAILY PRACTICE OF LETTING GO OF WHO WE THINK WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE AND EMBRACING WHO WE ARE”  Brene Brown

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DO YOUR THING Honey!

Dressed in VIVO ACTIVE WEAR

Make-Up by WACUKA THIMBA

Hair styled by Dennis of AMA DIVA

Photography by KIMACHIA

Location DUSIT D2

 

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TOP 40 UNDER 40

 


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On the 14th of October 2016! I received an Award that validated all the extra hours, the leaps of faith, the moments of doubt and most of all- always trusting that there is indeed always a BIGGER PURPOSE!

Receiving the Top 40 Award is beyond humbling for me, a sure sign that God’s plan surpasses mine, His plan is indeed always greater.

You see for women in Media we have to work twice as hard to grow! we have to sacrifice twice as much to seat at the table, in most cases we may have “High Visibility, but No Power” So each time I see women in Management in the Media Industry, Women who keep pushing, keep soaring & Keep growing! I smile- I smile because I know what it takes and I know what we go through to get there, unfortunately the credit is hardly ever given to us, but rather to the Men;-  “Oh! she’s sleeping with the boss, or she must know someone” are just some of the common insinuations, but hardly is it ever about our hard work…

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So to Business Daily and the Nation Media Group- THANK YOU! Thank you for finding 40 Women who work quietly in the back-ground, who are doing amazing things for this country and beyond, and seeing Greatness in us that we sometimes don’t even see in our-selves.

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To any young girl reading this or any women aspiring to shatter any Glass Celing- Go for it! You are able, you are competent & you are the right person for the job.

So many times as women we doubt ourselves, we don’t trust our abilities, we second guess our decisions & watch as the men go for it! whether they think they can or not Men go for it- Period! Whether they are ready or not! They say yes first then figure it out later… And that has been my one Big take-away from them! Take up the challenge whether I have experience or not, ask the questions, learn the lessons, enjoy the process & grow! For only until we are out of our Comfort Zones do we then begin to Soar.

If I could share the speech I gave;-

“I dedicate this award to Women! Women who aspire! Who shatter Glass Ceilings & keep inspiring us to keep soaring. All the women in this room thank you for being an Inspiration. To my daughters may they grow up knowing that the sky is in fact not the limit! But with each achievement to keep soaring!

To my dear Mother who’s here with me, Thank you for always leading by example! I am truly blessed to call you Mum!

Thank you Business Daily, I am incredibly humbled and pleasantly surprised to make it to this Elite Group of Amazing Women. I may stand here alone, but sooooo many have come before me like my Mother, My Mentors, My brilliant friends and Partners who have believed in me even when I didn’t believe in myself, so if I could end with a quote- “Surround yourself with the dreamers & the doers, the believers and the thinkers, but most of all, surround yourself with those who see Greatness within you, even when you don’t see it yourself, To God be the Glory! This is all because of Him!”

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And now the work really begins! Aim higher, keep soaring, keep reaching and above all else Keep GOD FIRST!

 

Dressed by- LAVIERA

Hair by Mary of Black-ButterFly Salon!

Photography by- KIMACHIA

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Destination Addiction (TOP 40 LESSONS)

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“Beware of destination addiction: the idea that happiness is in the next place, the next job or with the next partner. Until you give up the idea that happiness is somewhere else, it will never be where you are” Robert Holden

Robert speaking such TRUTH!! There have been times in my life when I thought that maybe if I just made more money I’d be happier, or if I was married having a life partner to walk this journey with- I’d be happier or if I owned certain material things I’d be happier! Well… What a Grand lesson this year has taught me!

In one of my lowest moments this year, completely broken before God- I told Him I can’t continue as is, waiting for a better future not wanting my present is not a way to live at all! And so I asked Him for ONE THING! and one thing ONLY!

I prayed “Lord please give me Joy as I wait for my heart’s desire” A very simple prayer that has now ended up being my most POWERFUL Prayer yet! because not long after that I found joy in my career again and became involved in projects that lit a spark in me, which was lacking for a very long time, but only until I surrendered fully to my Father and decided to be grateful for what I have- He then brought the joy back in my life and now that Joy is attracting even more to be joyful for- My friendships & relationships are blossoming and my career is getting to a place where I’ve always prayed it would!

So if I could emphasis on Robert’s words- Find joy in your present state and give up the idea that is somewhere else or it will never be where you are!

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Wearing VIVO ACTIVE WEARA Shrug to wear over your evening look to keep you warm yet still light enough- retailing at 3,500/=

Make-Up by WACUKA THIMBA

Photography by- DEEPAK

Location- DUSIT D2

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“TOP 40 LESSONS” PART TWO

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How I need to actually think through 40! Lessons… because on my previous post I only shared 5 Key Lessons in my life over the years that has led me to where I am today, and who I am today.

Here is another 5! And wish me luck! I’d love to eventually share 40 Lessons in honour of my Top 40 Under 40 Award(still surreal).

  • SUPPORT SYSTEM;– Your support system is so key in who will become, who you are becoming and essentially who you are. Your support system will check in to ensure you got up to work out, or come by to ensure your eating healthier. Your support system will also call you just to see how your holding up when your world seems to be crumbling, or make a surprise visit at the hospital when your kids are admitted to ensure you have everything you need. Your support system will follow up on your education- pushing you to finish that degree and on to the next one, your support system will send you application forms for job’s you feel unqualified for just to push you to aim higher, your support system will tell it like is and not spare your feelings for the sole purpose of making you better than you are. Your support system will pray with you, for you and celebrate you even when you don’t feel like it, Your support system will walk with you and remind you that indeed Angels do walk on Earth. I am eternally grateful to mine who show me in Grand and Small ways, that they really do have my back always;- Janet Mbugua, Julie Mwabe, Auntie Winnie, Paul Ndichu, Njira Tsu Tsu, Makena Mutwiri and my nearest and dearest my dear Mother and Sister;- Pauline Msalame and Natasha Anyonyi and my cousin/big sister Grace Nwanze- I can’t describe how grateful I am for your love and support through the years! I am blessed beyond measure.
  • BE INTENTIONAL“Guard your time Fiercely, Be Generous with it. But be intentional about it” Certain Phrases like YOLO! or “It’s never that serious” hardly ever leave my mouth, but instead in all that I engage in- I’m very intentional with my relationships, my brand, my partnerships, even my parenting which is a daily learning curve to achieve. Being intentional in all that we do means we take the time to RESEARCH, do our HOMEWORK, ANALYZE, SEEK COUNSEL and then make the decision to either go for it or not at all! Always ask yourself;- Will this help me 5years from now or even a year from now? Will I grow from this? If the answer is No! then why waste even 5 minutes of your time in that bad relationship? why not plan to finally start that dream business- dreaming and wishing is great! we all start there, but once that dream morphs into a plan, even if it takes a couple of years you are surely on the right track just for taking that very intentional step to make your life better than it is. “Figure out who you are, then do it on purpose”
  • LEARN, LEARN, LEARN, AND WHEN YOU DO TEACH- This is the reason I blog! It would be very unfair of me to keep all my lessons to myself! Like I mentioned in my previous blog, I am where I am today because of the legion that go before me, so it’s only fair that in my own little way, share whatever knowledge I may have that could help mentor the next girl with big dreams. For we are all stronger and better together!
  • YOU CAN’T PLEASE EVERYONE- I even shared this lesson with the Top 40 Under 40 team, but they of-course couldn’t print my whole interview, but what a BIG Lesson this was for me! Sheryl SandBerg points out in her book Lean in- how as women we naturally have the desire to be liked by everyone which sometimes can compromise getting the job done and in some cases we may end up doing it ourselves, because you feared being honest at the risk of not being nice. “It all boils down to stepping up and being willing to lead, getting some confidence, pushing back on things and challenging others’ decisions” Sheryl SandBerg or the worst thing is only agreeing to stuff to be liked, which is only short-changing yourself! Be YOURSELF! and you will attract your TRIBE!
  • ALLOW YOURSELF TO FANTAZISE ABOUT YOUR CAREER- Another key lesson from SandBerg, who reminds us that indeed we all must have a long-term dream, but start with even an 18month plan, find ways you can better yourself where you are. Improve on your skills, take a course, find mentors in the field to advise and read more! She ends with a powerful statement “If I’m afraid to do something, it’s usually because I’m not good at it” Sheryl SandBerg- and how her words ring true! I have turned down, abdicated, delegated and found ways to run away from stuff I’ve been afraid to do, until I decided to eventually just learn to do it and I can’t tell you the satisfaction that comes with learning a new skill. There is still so much more I must master, so I’m learning to enjoy the learning phase because the end result is the Win! I remember putting together this website “myself” I put that in quotes because my Creative guru Mr. Dicky Hokie helped me with some templates which I then settled for one- bought it, then now looked for developers online whom I worked with back and forth for a couple of nights to help set it up. I then sourced for a host and boom bought my own URL! That was my December Holiday- setting up this blog late into the night because of the time difference with the developers, then get up on time to hang out with my children and actually enjoy the break with them. Many long nights, but very satisfying:-)

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Okay those are another TOP 5 Grand lessons! Hope they resonate with you, inspire you, challenge you or maybe even just act as a reminder. Would be great to hear some of yours. Feel free to share with me some of your Grand Lessons on the comment section below! would be happy to blog about them and like I said help the next girl or boy with Big Dreams:-)

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Wearing VIVO ACTIVE WEAR  

Yin Yang Collection:-)

MakeUp by- WACUKA THIMBA

Photography by- DEEPAK

Location- DUSIT D2

 

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Walk His Path

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PSALMS- 37:23- “The Lord makes firm, the steps of the one who delights in Him”

God is not Man, He means what He says and says only what He means! There is no two way’s with Him and that has always been my Security.

I know during our low moments it’s especially hard to still Trust, but this year God is showing me what it means to fully trust Him!

Never would I have thought I’d be on The Top 40 Under 40! List, infact my first reaction when I was contacted by the team- I asked “Are you sure!?” and my reason is very simple- NEVER ARRIVE!

I never feel like I’ve done enough in everything I do, but always looking ahead to what I have to do next! so in my eyes I have soooooo much more to achieve, but I am so GRATEFUL! Receiving Validation from peers and Top Dogs in the executive world is so surreal to me, because only I know the number of times I’ve asked myself if I’m doing enough? or what else can I do? And how else can I leave an impact? Only for God to show me that I’m on the right track- is a blessing and beyond.

You see when your getting on with it, pushing, putting in the work, sacrificing time with your kids, turning down different job offers because you believe in what your doing and giving over and above in all that you do- it will never go unnoticed- NEVER! Someone is always watching, and more importantly God See’s and God Rewards! and in cases like this, the reward can be beyond your expectations! in fact for me now- I’m more challenged to fit into these “new shoes”… My new 40 Under 40 “shoes” trying to Live up to this accolade and do more, be more and NEVER ARRIVE!

Some Lessons I can share that I’ve picked up along the way:-

  • BE AUTHENTIC;– My Partnership with VIVO Active Wear, was very Authentic. I literally just fell in love with their clothes and spread the word and shortly we made it official and since then I love it more and look forward to our growth together. Plus just be you! People can notice Authenticity from a mile away, so own who you are & you will attract the right people.
  • GO THE EXTRA MILE;– I’ve done 12hour shifts if not more one too many times; to ensure a report is done, or a script is written or a show is edited. I’ve blogged late into the night and woken up bright and early to make it for my day job, but when you love what you do you don’t even notice the clock ticking. The hardest part though has been sacrificing time with my children, but to go the extra mile that is sometimes expected, so my aim in my thirties is to find even more balance.
  • TAKE RISKS;– Getting off air to move into management was VERY! Tough in the beginning, I missed my creative side, I craved enjoying my job every minute and not looking at numbers and spread-sheets, but I wanted to grow- I wanted to experience both sides of the coin! because one thing I’ve always confessed and prayed for is to one day have my own Media Power-House like Oprah Winfrey, though I may have changed my mind a couple of times after getting into management and experiencing it first hand. The reality shock has since settled in, but let’s just say my goals are morphing as we go;-)
  • YOU CANNOT BE WHAT YOU CANNOT SEE;– Have mentors you want to emulate who can guide you on your path. I’m so grateful to be standing on the shoulders of Giants! I come as one, but before me come those who have played such a key role in who I am today and are my absolute Gems. If I could name a few;- Caroline Mutoko, who is always ready and willing to advise me whenever I ambush her with my questions and has supported my career through the years and for that I am eternally grateful. She also happens to be a former Top 40 Under 40 winner as well and not once but twice! Another mentor of mine who is a three time Top 40 Under 40 Winner is Rev & Business Guru- Julian Kyula who has also prayed with me, and shared his immense knowledge and wisdom which I will never take for granted. My other Boss, Wandia Gichuru- Vivo Active MD, who has believed in me from day one, when all I had was a love for her brand yet she took a chance on me and is even gracious enough to make time for me severally to advise and mentor me on my journey. And ofcourse My CEO and Mentor Patrick Quarcoo is a blessing to work for, because he’s Leadership approach is more like a teacher, no question is too dumb and there’s no such thing as too many mistakes, but the focus is always on learning and growing! At first I used to get so frustrated because I felt he pushed me too much, but I now understand why I had to re-do all those scripts, reports and plans! in-fact this accolade is nowhere near to enough in his eyes, but a nudge for me to push even harder, so with such mentors I’ve really only just begun! and by God’s Grace may this only be the beginning.
  • SEEK YE FIRST AND PRAY! PRAY! PRAY!– A very key lesson I picked up watching my Mother- Pray when you have, pray when you don’t, pray ALL THE TIME! As you all know, I’m a born again believer who firmly believes that God must order my steps and that all Good things come from Him! so if we seek Him He will surely give you your hearts desires no matter how ambitious and even CRAZY! they may be! We serve a God of the impossible! What He can do, no man can and where we sometimes miss it though is we think we get it all because of just our works. I beg to differ though, like I said I am so undeserving of this accolade but God has given this to me for a reason, for His Purpose and for His Glory. Only He knows what He has in store that requires this level of attention, so now my role is to seek His face even more, and allow for Him to fulfill His Purpose through me- I AM ONLY BUT A VESSEL! and this season He is showing His Grace and Might through me and I can only be humbled and grateful for this undeserving honour.

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WEARING a VIVO ACTIVE WEAR YinYang Kaftan

MakeUp by WACUKA THIMBA

Photography by DEEPAK

Location DUSIT D2

 

 

 

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You don’t need Inspiration- You need to Chill!

Hey…

So there’s  an article by Jamie Varon that I came across a few months ago that stopped me in my tracks, only to read it again yesterday and still get goose-bumps…

If you feel like you may be falling behind in life, please scroll to the bottom and read this great piece and remember that we all have our own unique journey! comparing paths only leads to discontentment, instead adopt a grateful heart and take it a day at a time.

I must add that I am very humbled and grateful for my 2016 SOMA- Nomination, which stems from the path I took to use my social media pages to Inspire, Motivate and my biggest hope, especially with this blog has always been to draw others to Christ.

This post below though will surprise you, because it’s not exactly an inspirational one, but a very HONEST one! which I think is very necessary! because the fact is- “We are as we are, until we are not” so regardless of where you are in life, we must learn to OWN that stage, embrace and still exist through it until we are where we need to be.

 

Enjoy the Read…

 

“You don’t need more motivation. You don’t need to be inspired to action. You don’t need to read any more lists and posts about how you’re not doing enough.

We act as if we can read enough articles and enough little Pinterest quotes and suddenly the little switch in our brain will put us into action. But, honestly, here’s the thing that nobody really talks about when it comes to success and motivation and willpower and goals and productivity and all those little buzzwords that have come into popularity: you are as you are until you’re not. You change when you want to change. You put your ideas into action in the timing that is best. That’s just how it happens.

And what I think we all need more than anything is this: permission to be wherever we are when we’re there.

You’re not a robot. You can’t just conjure up motivation when you don’t have it. Sometimes you’re going through something. Sometimes life has happened. Life! Remember life? Yeah, it teaches you things and sometimes makes you go the long way around for your biggest lessons.

You don’t get to control everything. You can wake up at 5 a.m. every day until you’re tired and broken, but if the words or the painting or the ideas don’t want to come to fruition, they won’t. You can show up every day to your best intentions, but if it’s not the time, it’s just not the fucking time. You need to give yourself permission to be a human being.

“If it’s not the time, it’s just not the time. You need to give yourself permission to be a human being.”

Sometimes the novel is not ready to be written because you haven’t met the inspiration for your main character yet. Sometimes you need two more years of life experience before you can make your masterpiece into something that will feel real and true and raw to other people. Sometimes you’re not falling in love because whatever you need to know about yourself is only knowable through solitude. Sometimes you haven’t met your next collaborator. Sometimes your sadness encircles you because, one day, it will be the opus upon which you build your life.

We all know this: Our experience cannot always be manipulated. Yet, we don’t act as though we know this truth. We try so hard to manipulate and control our lives, to make creativity into a game to win, to shortcut success because others say they have, to process emotions and uncertainty as if these are linear journeys.

You don’t get to game the system of your life. You just don’t. You don’t get to control every outcome and aspect as a way to never give in to the uncertainty and unpredictability of something that’s beyond what you understand. It’s the basis of presence: to show up as you are in this moment and let that be enough.

Yet, we don’t act in a way that supports this lifestyle. We fill every minute with productivity tools and read 30-point lists on how to better drive out natural, human impulse. We often forget that we are as we are until we’re not. We are the same until we’re changed. We can move that a bit further by putting into place healthy habits and to show up to our lives in a way that fosters growth, but we can’t game timing.

Timing is the one thing that we often forget to surrender to.

Things are dark until they’re not. Most of our unhappiness stems from the belief that our lives should be different than they are. We believe we have control — and our self-loathing and self-hatred comes from this idea that we should be able to change our circumstances, that we should be richer or hotter or better or happier. While self-responsibility is empowering, it can often lead to this resentment and bitterness that none of us need to be holding within us. We have to put in our best efforts and then give ourselves permission to let whatever happens to happen—and to not feel so directly and vulnerably tied to outcomes. Opportunities often don’t show up in the way we think they will.

You don’t need more motivation or inspiration to create the life you want. You need less shame around the idea that you’re not doing your best. You need to stop listening to people who are in vastly different life circumstances and life stages than you tell you that you’re just not doing or being enough. You need to let timing do what it needs to do. You need to see lessons where you see barriers. You need to understand that what’s right now becomes inspiration later. You need to see that wherever you are now is what becomes your identity later.

“There’s a magic beyond us that works in ways we can’t understand. We can’t game it. We can’t 10-point list it. We can’t control it.”

Sometimes we’re not yet the people we need to be in order to contain the desires we have. Sometimes we have to let ourselves evolve into the place where we can allow what we want to transpire.

Let’s just say that whatever you want, you want it enough. So much so that you’re making yourself miserable in order to achieve it. What about chilling out? Maybe your motivation isn’t the problem, but that you keep pushing a boulder up a mountain that only grows in size the more you push.

There’s a magic beyond us that works in ways we can’t understand. We can’t game it. We can’t 10-point list it. We can’t control it. We have to just let it be, to take a step back for a moment, stop beating ourselves up into oblivion, and to let the cogs turn as they will. One day, this moment will make sense. Trust that.

Give yourself permission to trust that.”

 

And to me the “MAGIC” she keeps alluding to is pretty much a higher power being in control of the process and not you! allowing for you to go through the different stages to break you, mold you and raise you to a place where He(GOD) can use you! I truly believe that, and the whole process before the end result is part of your beautiful, overcoming story that will and is already inspiring someone somewhere, even though you may not even know it! so hold on and trust the process.

 

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GRIEVE

“Grieve… So that you can be free to feel something else”- Nayyirah Waheed

Her writing is so raw and honest, the kind of space that excites me, even when that space breaks me too…

You see sometimes we hold on to so much instead of letting go and allowing ourselves to Grieve… We then find ourselves carrying mountains you were only meant to climb and move on!

Looking back in my early twenties, there’s a lot I should have just climbed and moved on, but instead I carried some things well into my thirties when I finally had my painful aha moment that this one particular mountain was far to heavy for me to keep carrying!

Albeit letting Go of this mountain has not been an easy road, even though it’s the decision I made, but I’m realizing that some Mountains do take longer to shake off, especially if the investment was Grand and took longer, but I’m finally learning to Grieve the loss, so that I can be free to feel something else, because after 8years I’m learning that maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything, but unbecoming everything that isn’t really you, so that you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.

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Yesterday Church was such a BIG Moment for me as I shared on my IG, but one thing I left out was the word I received from the sweetest old Lady who tapped me after the service to tell me “Seek His Face, Continue to Seek His Face and watch Him work through you” and then she left… That word touched me to the core and left me asking very many introspective questions;- Where am I headed? Is this it? and then feeling guilty for wanting more!

“Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who were meant to be in the first place”

Maybe…

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Wearing-Turtle Neck and tights from VIVO ACTIVE WEAR

MakeUp by- WACUKA THIMBA

Photography by- DEEPAK

Location- DUSIT D2

 

 

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