RAISING MULTIPLES- PART I- #MYSTORYSERIES

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I’ve thought about doing a series on the reality of Raising Twins for quite sometime now and with Mothers Day approaching thought I’d start a Raising Multiples series which for me is still in line with #MyStorySeries

So if you have multiples, expecting some on the way or wish to have some(as I hear all the time!) Here’s a little reality check…

THE TWIN BOND

I’m learning that with each set of twins the bond is different! there’s no one size fits all formula like the intense bond between identical twins is different from fraternal twins  & mine happen to be fraternal. Their Father happens to be an identical twin & watching him & his brother was quite something so I always thought that’s the case with all twins; having a 6th sense when the other is unwell, fighting one minute & besties the next, ending up in the same or similar careers etc so watching them I thought that must be how it is for all twins!

But Surprise Surprise! watching that phenomenon unravel before my eyes is quite different with my pair because as much as Zawadi and Raha have their similarities they can also be as different as night and day and I’m yet to see that crazy Twin bond I saw with their Father and Uncle, though I’m learning that it intensifies as the grow & spend more time together as their auntie(Janet Mbugua Ndichu) she shared with me- that her & her fraternal twin brother like mine fought a lot in their younger days only to get closer with time, though with same sex twins they’re more likely to be besties naturally, so I’m definitely looking forward to seeing how this bond will develop. What I can definitely attest to is their solidarity especially if I come in between to stop their fights- it sometimes get to a point where I end up being the bad guy because they’d rather resolve their issues among themselves than have one of them be punished! so I guess there goes the fighting one minute to besties the next moment scenario playing out…

And when one is unwell the other will be so caring and extra gracious, if seriously unwell the other twin (if they don’t catch it) will also be a little down because their partner in crime isn’t available to play with, bother or tattle on:-)

So the bonding is indeed different from sington siblings but it’s also not as automatic as most would expect, watching this bond unravel is quite a ride filled with surprises!

SIBLING RIVALRY

Surprise number one is the Competition! I was not prepared for this I must say! I guess because growing up my sister and I never fought, but also we are four years apart!!

So imagine having someone your age with you ALL! the time! from the womb! it must get frustrating, so it’s very key for the environment to facilitate equality and individuality- Here are some necessary tips;-

  • Don’t compare them! it only creates more competition!
  • Don’t refer to them as one Unit- like “HI TWINS!” but by their specific names
  • Stop treating them like a museum monument they can not only get a complex but it frustrates them as they wonder what the fuss is all about and why the rest don’t get the same attention
  • Encourage and Nature their strengths and Uniqueness so that they each feel special
  • Align the support system to implement your structure so that whether in school or at home the same is practiced and followed!
  • Contrary to popular belief don’t dress them alike, atleast not all the time! this helps to create the individuality. In our case as seen even on the images on this blog we still do it more than we should and reason for this is the Competition;- if they don’t fight over who looks better they will fight to wear the same one or at least they used to, now as they grow they actually want to dress differently because they too get frustrated with the constant who is who comparison! so when I shop I buy lots of stuff that come in pairs that have different prints or colours and as they grow will buy more and more different outfits because their tastes too are different. One thing that also helped when they were younger and even now is color coding them;- Pink and Purple have always been our go to colours, so even as people buy your multiples gifts request for different selections or at least different colours! because I have so many matching outfits that are gifts, but ofcourse the other option is they don’t have to wear the matching outfits at the same time.

THEY SOMEHOW ESTABLISH THEY’RE OWN PECKING ORDER

Strange as it may; Zawadi is the older Twin by 1Minute and Raha second and before they even knew or understood that hierarchy Zawadi naturally behaved like a first born! always has and Raha follows her lead- but this reality doesn’t always sit down well with Raha- she doesn’t like hearing that her sister is older because there we go again with the competition! so it’s key for Parents of Multiples to learn to manage the competition because at the end of the day they’re all age mates which brings me to my next point;-

SCHEDULE ALONE TIME WITH EACH CHILD

This is so key and fundamental for them because again imagine having to share your life with someone from the womb, so spending time with them separately helps build a stronger bond, helps your child feel special and also helps you as a parent learn more about each child. Granted this alone time is not an easy one to achieve especially if you’re a single Mum like me, so if it proves difficult you can start small and steal moments alone with each twin and be very present in those few moments you’re with each child.

And Last tip for this first series of Raising Multiples for #MyStorySeries

THINK IN DOUBLES!

And by that I mean imagine buying two packs of daipers and one formula  for your singleton and how you couldn’t wait for that phase to end, well with Twins double that cost, everything you do for your little one double it! clothes, fees, Extracurricular activities (yes thats usually a whole other separate cost), gifts etc! it’s not cheap especially if you want to get your kids the “cool stuff” and the growth sprouts are no joke- they can go up a shoe size in a month, so there will be seasons when all you seem to be doing is spending money so here are a few coping mechanisms;-

  • If you can- encourage as much sharing as possible, yes you’ll need to get two bikes or two car-seats but I’m learning as they grow older that I really don’t have to buy two of everything which I’ve always done but that is not only too much of an expense for you but how about you use that opportunity to instead teach them about sharing.
  • And as much as they have matching out-fits shop different clothes as well, because they can switch the look next time so in a sense doubles up their wardrobe.
  • I grew up in a home where there was always a monthly budget that we stuck too and we stocked up on what we needed for the month, so I applied the same formula in our house-hold, because you save more as you can more clearly see how much you are in fact spending and plan for it. Also in the earlier years stocking up on daipers and formula saved us a lot! so if you can shop in bulk and if you have a connect abroad it may be cheaper for you because daipers are cheaper there and they have more bulk options, same with clothes if you have a friend or family or you’re able to travel- get as much as you can each time! there was a time I didn’t have to stock up on much for almost 7months if not more because I shopped in bulk when I traveled. Also always take advantage of sales if you’re lucky the can be quite a good bargain.
  • You don’t have to sign them up for all the Extracurricular activities even though you really want to! I used to pick almost every activity and pay through my nose until I realised that I could make it fun and either pick different activities for each child or pick a certain number a term and then switch it up the next term.
  • My Mum keeps reminding me to teach them early what needs and wants are and that sometimes we won’t always get what we want. It’s important to start this conversation early or you’ll be quite a frustrated broke Mum.

I know how it is single parents, we sometimes feel bad and over compensate by trying to give them “the world” because you feel like you may have let them down, but you’re actually doing them a dis-service by not teaching them the realities of life, so find a balance and take it a day at time, take a breath, have a strong support system and above all Trust God! He is so faithful and His Blessings are over-flowing! Just stay in him and watch Him supply for all you needs.

Remember Double the Joy & Double the Work, but also Double the Grace!!

Part Two coming soon!

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These lovely images are courtesy of Bliss Memories

Look for them next time you’re having a party and want to add an extra dash of FUN!!

Stay Blessed from Me and Mine, to You and Yours!

 

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DARING GREATLY by Janet Mbugua-Ndichu for #MyStorySeries

Hi there😊Feels like it’s been so long…

Well today’s a good day to continue my series #MyStorySeries and my guest blogger today is a dear person to me- who I’ve known for quite a while now, as our paths crossed when we both worked at KTN where we formed a friendship and now years later she also happens to be my daughters Auntie…

Janet Mbugua-Ndichu my kindred spirit I call her, because our paths are so similar it’s a tad bit scary😬😊We both started off our media careers at 19 years old, both worked at KTN and Capital FM as well, both have a love for writing hence our blogs and another scary similarity is we both probably would have studied psychology at some point! and to top it of- the Fathers of our children happen to be twin brothers! LOL! doesn’t get creepier than that huh…

We’ve led separate lives but find ourselves in the same circle constantly, even now we’re on another similar path where we’re boldly stepping out into unknown territory- again not a joint decision at all, but I guess that’s the rhythm with kindred spirits- you find yourselves drawn to the same or similar paths💜

I started this series to show you, yes you reading this that you are not alone on your journey, that our stories are somewhat inter-twined because through these stories you will see that the doubt you feel sometimes is normal, that the fear that holds you back is also normal but you must fight it and most of all the success you see now was a journey coupled with failure, re-direction and finally coming into your own which we can only do if we DARE GREATLY!

And here in comes Janet Mbugua-Ndichu’s Daring Greatly Story…

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I left kenya for South Africa in 2009 when I was 25 years old. I left behind a good job, great friends, my amazing family and a life full of promise to venture into waters I wasn’t quite sure of. Alone. And I hadn’t even thought it through much! But then again, there had always been a boldness in me, an individuality that’s devoid of clique influence, conformism and regret. I must have honed it from a young age.
 
I’ve said before, it’s frightening. Don’t think that I have it all figured out or that I’m too tough. That I don’t doubt myself. Of course I do! But I always say to myself, ‘if not now, when’? I also say, ‘if you never try how will you ever know’? These two quotes, as cliche as they are, have motivated me to reach, to try, to fly.
 
I’m a believer; my Faith has played an integral part in my evolution. I admit though that I’m one of those Christians who wonders if I let God down too much! So I blame myself for falling short of how worthy He is.
 
The truth is, we can never be truly sure if we’re making the right decision. We can only speculate and fear so much before we put our hearts and soul in jeopardy. Ask yourself, “Is this going to grow me? Am I going to gain more than I’ll lose?” You may hesitate but ultimately, the only way you can really, truly test your potential, push yourself, dare, dream…is to jump. The worst that can happen is that it doesn’t work out like you’d hoped but I tell you, it’ll lead you to the next thing and the next, until you find your purpose. Consult those who have your best interests at heart, pray, read up on the lives of personalities and be inspired by the risks they took that eventually paid off. Oprah, Richard Brandon, James Mwangi.
 
‘Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us…’
( Marianne Williamson, Spiritual Activist)
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Thank you for sharing your story with us Janet and reminding us to always make The Next Right Move and let that be our guide.
#MyStorySeries
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Second Chances- #MyStorySeries

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The Easter period for me is a reminder of the heart of God… The Heart that Forgives over and over again, the heart that loves me unconditionally and the heart that is Faithful to me even when I am so undeserving…

Grace!!! The name that my parents chose for me has been evident in my life through the presence of God in my Life.

And during the Easter Season I naturally go into a reflective mode that reminds me of His Grace- because I know that indeed I would be lost if it was not for His Grace, if it was not for His Love for me that made Him come down to earth and dwell among us like mere man to show me how to walk this path called life, to show me that it will not be easy, but just like He overcame death we too have already overcome through Him, to show me that no Sin has the weight that His Glory can not handle, to show me that He will never forsake me… To Show me that no matter what happens in life there is always saving Grace and there will always be a second chance!

Whether it’s a second chance at love, a second chance at trying again for a baby or a second chance at discovering your life’s purpose! whatever you feel you can not come out of or you can not do again you are believing a LIE!

Jesus is the face of second chances, Christianity is about second chances, Christianity is about Grace- it doesn’t matter what the situation looks like but through Christ He can restore and renew, so I say try again… but this time with God! His Grace is Sufficient!!

He came so that you may have Life and have it more Abundantly! and His resurrecting Power that worked 2000 years ago is available to you too today! A dream you may have thought was dead can be reawakened- it’s never too late to walk into your Purpose no matter how old you are- if your dream was to be an Author start writing, if like my Mom your passion has always been interior design go for it! JUMP! JUMP! JUMP! Take the Leap and do something that your future self will thank you for.

Take the Second Chance!

“To be Vulnerable and admit that you still want something after it hasn’t happened is a Gift”. Sarah Jakes-Roberts

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If you are waking up with the sensation that there has got to be more to life… then there is!- Steve Harvey

 

Wearing VIVO ACTIVE WEAR

Make-Up by WACUKA THIMBA

Hair by Crochet By Christine

Photography by PhotographyByJuneJuly

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Ordained Steps- by Julie Mwabe Balongo… #MyStorySeries

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For as long as I can remember I have been intrigued by stories. When I was a little girl, the highlight of every evening for my siblings and I was being bundled up in one bed and listening to my parents tell us bed-time stories in a highly animated and musical manner! Stories about the goat tricked by the hyena, the boy who always told a lie and was eventually eaten by a fox, the woman who turned into a tree. Every night there was a different story…and with each story there was a lesson to be learnt- respect your elders, tell the truth, don’t trust strangers, always help where you can, stand tall!

My quest for stories continued beyond my childhood as I discovered new ones! Great stories of men and women who changed the world. Stories of Mohatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa and Martin Luther King. Stories of Nelson Mandela, Julius Nyerere and Wangari Maathai. Stories of heroes, of legends, remarkable people whose lives stood out. With all of them, I found common descriptions. Persistent. Determined. A fighting spirit. Will of steel. Selfless. Courageous. Conviction in what they believed in. They may have been as simple as they come but when they discovered what they were born to do, they were like an unstoppable train. Charged on. Fought to the very end and driven by their passions!

For the longest time I didn’t think I had a story! Growing up in church there was always the “testimony” segment that always intrigued me- as these were people’s stories! The stories often had a before and after. Rags to Riches. Struggle to redemption. Freedom from past transgressions. A sinner to a saint narrative. None of which I felt I had! For the most part of my life I have had it pretty good. I grew up in a middle class family, my parents dotted over me, I went to the best of schools, had great friends and my mother was my Sunday school teacher! I was safe and cushioned all through!

However despite having “a lot” I always knew that because much was given to me, much was required of me.

My story began at an airport! I was 21, just graduated from university and moving back home not really sure what my next steps were. As I was waiting for my flight, there on the TV screen was a CNN documentary on the drought in Kenya and it being the worst the East African region had experienced. I was completely moved to tears- here I was armed with a degree and I had been asking God to give me a sense of direction and suddenly I strongly felt I wanted to help those people. My flight was delayed and I decided to go to the airport computers and google “drought in Kenya”. The first article that opened up was an article from UNICEF, a humanitarian organization, and at the bottom was a byline of the author. I emailed her and wrote, “I’ve just watched the documentary, I am on my way home, and I want to help in any way!” I got a response right away saying “ Please come see me as soon as you arrive”. Needless to say, that’s how I landed my first job. At the UN. With no experience and with no interview. I did hit the ground running – one week I would be at a refugee camp working with those highly affected by the drought and the next in a hospital watching children on the brink of death from starvation. During my time working there, I heard young girls narrate to me their experiences of rape; consoled with women who had lost their babies during child birth because they could not afford to go to hospital, spent time with children who had watched HIV and AIDS slowly and painfully take their parents away from them; saw men crawl towards the border of Kenya and Somalia having lost their families along the way and not having any more living strength left; and worked in the IDP camps where I listened to children barely 5 years old tell me how they watched their parents hacked to death during the election violence.

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These were stories I had to tell to the rest of the world as part of my job. But it always went beyond just a job for me. I was genuinely interested and would go out of my way to find some solutions and suggest these to my colleagues and bosses who often (surprisingly) listened and followed through. With each story I heard, there was a silver lining, sometimes very distant but when I really looked for it, I would see it. Stories of men and women who took in 10 orphaned children at a time and took care of them as their very own. Stories of girls who had been kicked out of their communities for making a stand on their right to education and saying no to female genital mutilation; Stories of children who had taken responsibility of their siblings after being orphaned by HIV and AIDS. Stories of men who had managed to calm those in displacement camps and led them to forgiveness and reconciliation. To me these amazing and resilient people have become my heroes. People who are unheard of. No one will write a story on them or praise them for their efforts. They don’t even know they are heroes themselves or of the difference they have made.

So my love for stories continues…but what I am realizing as well is telling these stories is indeed part of my story. God has always led me to places that were beyond me- places I never felt qualified for- and truly wasn’t. I identify a lot with Moses in the bible who came up with excuses on why he didn’t think he was right for the job! But really, it has never been about me. My steps have been ordained all along- and when God leads you, he provides the grace to open the right doors for you and sustain you. My gift has put me before kings. I remember once been called upon to accompany Michelle Obama to meet children under a program she was interested in during her visit to Kenya and years later asked to support writing a speech for former President Obamas during the recent GES summit as part of my job (Real Kings I tell you). I desire to remain Gods hands and feet. I constantly ask God to allow me to see others as he does- to use me to give faith to humanity. To challenge those close to me not to roll up their windows when someone they consider ‘poor’ knocks on them. Because perhaps God has placed their resources in your hands. I pray I can encourage those close to me to see others as God sees them, to be interested in their stories and want to be part of them. I believe we can make a difference- and its closer than we think. It could be your househelp, your watchman, your driver…..stop and hear their story- their solution may just be in your hands.

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Julie Mwabe-Balongo and this is My Story…

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Edifying habits

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As we proceed with our New Year thought I’d share some edifying habits that have worked for me & continue to work for me…

SET THE TONE FOR YOUR DAY

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How you start your day usually determines how the rest of your day will pan out! So for me it’s become a practice to start with God, if it means waking up earlier than everyone else then pray for that Grace!

If you have a house with Children you know our most sacred moments are before sunrise & in the Still of the night, in fact right now I’m blogging at 11:30pm after my mediation session that has actually led me to share this.

It wasn’t always like this though, it can be a struggle & a challenge to rise early or only wake up when the baby cries or when your toddler comes to wake you up and the first thing that you turn to is your phone which is right next to your pillow or under it… Yeah I see you!

But before all those distractions, before you wear your Mommy hat or attend to your Twitter or Instagram feed! Be STILL! Spend an hour or even 30mins in His presence, thank Him for waking you up this Morning & ask Him to guide your day, to protect you & your family & for His Will to be done in your life & for you to bring Him Glory as you go about your daily routine.

It really does make a world of a difference when we practice this, because I notice that when I let myself get too frazzled I’m off balance! easily irritable & my day is just off!

So in 2017 I urge you to start with God, speak to Him, listen to Him, spend time in His word & then set off on your day.

WATCH WHAT YOU FEED YOURSELF- WHAT YOU FEED YOUR SPIRIT

So after you’ve had your fellowship with God & you’re out of the house, what do we all naturally do in the car? We put on the radio right? & what do we listen too?

Well for me & I’ve gotten into a lot of trouble for this! because I miss out on ads & campaigns that I’ve helped put together because I personally don’t listen to Radio! Instead I listen to my personal playlist of what I call my “Jesus Music” from mellow worship sessions to high tempo Praise music that my kids & I can jam to😊meditate on and use to offer our hearts and minds to God as we begin our day.

Again not a practice I’ve always done! In fact when I was so lost in sin I couldn’t listen to my Gospel music as much as I looooove & thrive the most when I’m in His presence in worship, but that’s what sin does- it separate’s you from God!

So I would play my secular favorites & some may seem harmless, but the mind & the tongue are very powerful! what you perceive as harmless- the mind wanders & takes you to dark places & the tongue will repeat back those lyrics which don’t edify you, instead depending on the song- it can make you angry, depressed, proud or sexually stimulated…

Now here’s the thing if your okay with the above that’s fine, I’m speaking to those who want to lead a life that pleases God & also puts you in a place of peace- so it really all boils down to where you are in life & what matters to you!

One of my major responsibilities is my children, so I have to be very aware of what I expose them to! So it’s always been a very conscious decision of mine even when I was lost in sin! that when my kids are in the car with me we’re on Jesus or Kiddy tunes😊 When one secular song slips here & there boy do I try & erase that memory of it! and probably over compensate the next time… Sigh

But I truly thank God for that habit- because now if they are to sing anything at the drop of a hat it would be a worship song! of which I am grateful for- because sowing seeds starts now before it gets a lot harder to redirect their path & we all know the scripture that says- “Train up a child in the way that He should go & when He is old He will not depart from it” Proverbs 22:6

Maybe it’s because I LOVE Music so this habit edifies me. Listening to Music with a  Wholesome, Uplifting & sometimes even challenging message sets my day off to a good start, a better start & with time I even found myself listening to the same playlist through the day even if in my office I am exposed to everything! but because I’ve already down the seed early in the day- that is all I desire- just to be in His Presence.

BE SELF AWARE

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Knowing who you are! Your strengths & your weakness! is so key in self development! You cannot grow if you do not know yourself & one way of knowing yourself is by

  • Asking others how would your Mom describe you, your siblings, your spouse, your colleague or even your kids? You may think you’re this pocket of sunshine! but maybe you’re a bitter pill to swallow & you don’t even know it! I know I struggled with this reality for a long time, even as I write this I’m surprised I can write about it- but I’m your text book example of an introvert who can get pretty moody! My family, my friends & colleagues are all pretty aware! And I should say I was aware to, but did I consciously do something about it? Not really! I just expected people to take me as I am & deal… But God calls us to co-exist in Harmony with all & above all He calls us to Love! So it’s kind of hard to communicate Love when you’re not giving it! So for me being aware of this flaw has made me all the more Intentional- intentionally choosing to Love; be it a family member, friend or stranger, in fact a reminder I feel led to share is Remember Ministry begins at home! Don’t be this sweetheart to the rest of the world but at home you’re unbearable to live with- that’s just not authentic living! Stop trying to keep up with the joneses & ask God to work on your heart and to fill you with His Love so that you too may move from a place of Love.
  • Maybe this should have been first, but aside from asking others also ask God to show you your heart & trust me He will, sometimes even more brutally than when others show you- but what I love most about consulting God is His Revelation is Beautiful. In Matthew Jesus says “When you Fast!” not if but when! You see prayer coupled with Fasting is the most powerful practice a Christian could do for their walk with Christ! He reveals stuff about you- you didn’t even know existed, stuff you thought you had dealt with, Strength you didn’t know you had until you are truly surrendered to Him & indeed believe that you can do all things through Christ who strengths you! The beauty about consulting God is He shows you what you can become, what you desire to become & He enables you to become that person.

Know yourself & watch yourself be a better person; for you, for your walk with the Lord & for those around you! Plus the devil takes advantage of what’s left in the dark & he will try to use that against you! Instead own up to it & deal with it & he won’t have power over it or you!

Which brings me to the Fundamental habit I’ve mentioned above!

FASTING

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As a Christian it is so critical for us to get into a habit of fasting! There are some strongholds that cannot be broken unless we pray & fast because some battles are not natural but spiritual! And fasting is the key to fighting spiritual battles!

Some answers you will never get unless you Fast, until you move closer to God and allow for Him to reveal! because Fasting doesn’t move God, Fasting moves You closer to Him.

Fasting is denying yourself food & other things that you like & need to show God that He is more important! that hearing from Him is more important than anything else!

During times that you would eat or watch tv or on spend time on social media, instead you spend that time in His presence! And sometimes that consecration may require for you to spend hours on end in His presence, be away from people & or places for a time so that you don’t have any distractions!

When I first felt the Lord leading me to do this I was terrified! I thought I would never make it! But with each day, with each victory I Blessed His name- because He not only revealed things to me that I would otherwise not see with my natural eyes but only through the Holy Spirit when you Fast!

But My Greatest Joy is my intimacy with God!… Like I said above, Fasting doesn’t move God, it moves you, it switches on your Spiritual antennas and enables you to hear Him more clearly! So every so often especially this first month of the new year I challenge you to give it a try & let the Holy Spirit guide you on how long you should do it, be it 3days, 7, 14 or like Daniel & Moses & Jesus 40 days! The Holy Spirit will lead you & there are several kinds of fasts; dry fast, liquid fast, Daniel Fast- all which should first be consulted in prayer. But a Beautiful habit I urge you to either try or keep in the New Year!

And Like Daniel, Moses, Jesus, Esther, John and David just to name a few who all got their breakthroughs or begun ministry or received the Lords favour or received healing & Restoration only after they fasted… You too can have your testimony after you take the step to pay the price and deny yourself so that He may increase in your Life! So ultimately what a Beautiful Gift it is.

JOURNAL

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One of my all time fave things to do is write! I write down notes all the time with my terrible handwriting🙉🙊🙈(Dear Jesus bring deliverance there) Lol! But for real- like most girls I’ve kept a journal since my teen years which was then a diary with secrets, which later progressed into a book of stories & songs & poems & then into a Prayer Journal & bible study & now I have several; one for work stuff, one for my ideas & another for my prayer & bible study & of course my note-pad on my phone-which I may use the most!

The benefits of taking Notes;-

  • You don’t forget- I literally write down everything! especially in meetings so that I’m not asking myself later what was that brief again!? or when I’m listening to a sermon whether in church or on my phone or my laptop- I will pause severally to take notes so that I can remember and later mediate on the word & also share what I learn with you.
  • To help you count your blessings- When you look back at your prayer journal you truly thank God for how far He has brought you & it also serves as a great reminder of how Faithful He is! And it gives you the boost to even pray more boldly & more earnestly.
  • I read somewhere that seeing your goals written down with your own handwriting has a trigger in your brain that gives you the momentum to go for it! Plan for it & realize that dream!
  • You can pass down lessons- Imagine passing on all the lessons you’ve learned over the years to your children! Like how in Uni we used to ask 2nd years to give us their 1st years books so that we could be a step ahead in class- well same concept here- You have an opportunity to leave something tangible for your children to refer to. In fact as I write this I am given even more affirmation to blog & if it is His Will one day by His Grace write a book that my children can refer too!

There’s a switch that goes on in your thirties that puts you on a legacy mode kind of vibe, it’s no longer about the now, but what will you leave behind?

Lastly for now, because I feel like there is a lot more I’m leaving out, but the last habit I would urge any single girl or guy is…

PRACTICE THE WAIT

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Practice Celibacy- Yup I said it! I’ve shared my excitement about Waiting on all my social media pages since Devon & Megan Franklin decided to bless us with their story & their book!

As Believers though, this is not news to us at all! We grew up knowing you keep yourself pure until after marriage! In fact my Mother was in utter shock when I told her I was sexually active & was now a single Mother at 24!

This was not the girl she raised! Even I didn’t recognize myself in my twenties! But that’s what happens when you step out of God’s will & feed your fleshy desires instead! But God is Gracious and He is a God of Restoration! He gave me my greatest Blessings and constant challenge to be a better mother, person and human being- My Children😊

So like me, you may have fallen from grace, and severally at that, but God is a God of second chances, you just need to go to Him with a repentant heart and truly Worship and Seek Him in Spirit and in truth!

Megan Franklin pointed out in her book that sometimes you may find yourself in a relationship that you know is not good for you at all & in no way bringing God Glory! but you stay because the sex is good! Yup I said it! Yet Sex cannot edify you outside of Love and outside of marriage!

It’s a gift God gave us to enjoy as married couple’s… because we all know that sex complicates EVERYTHING!

  • You don’t think soberly
  • You get your emotions in a tangled mess
  • Your heart wants more yet you’re probably not even compatible with this person but there you are forcing!
  • Sex comes with consequences that you are probably not ready to deal with e.g kids
  • Sex can come with diseases which non of us wants

So as great an act as it is! It’s all the more beautiful within the right context!

And a brilliant lesson that Devon reminds us of is;- if one can control Lust, if one can have power over their mind! You can almost probably handle anything that comes your way!

Which is such a POWERFUL Lesson! Having power over your mind and body is necessary for any human being! not being slaves to our desires but actually being able to have control over ourselves is a weapon only realized once you do have the control.

God rewards Purity & obedience! Your body is His temple, so Love & treat it as is! Our bodies don’t even belong to us, so to think that we can do whatever we want to do with it is a sin!

Because ultimately we are His! Through & Through! & God honors the marriage bed & takes pride when Wife & Husband honor it too & He also enjoys seeing married couples be intimate! It actually brings Him joy! It is a powerful ministry between married couples.

Whereas sex outside marriage only brings shame, yet the act itself is Beautiful but not before it’s time.

One of my biggest lessons, my biggest tests & most edifying practice! It’s not an easy road! not by a long shot! in fact if you are used to the act- you may fall severally! But get back up each time!!

And I strongly feel that we’re in the Season where it’s time for us to do the work because God will bring to completion what He has begun in you but you must do your part!

So as much as His Grace is sufficient! James 4:7 remind us to Submit ourselves then to God, resist the devil & he will flee! Because as much as the act is Beautiful! Outside of marriage as a Christian, no matter how you look at it- It is still sexual immorality! And I know this is a struggle even among Believers, so I urge prayer & fasting to break the habit and to break soul ties so that you are free to serve Him from a more wholesome place & keep yourself pure for Him and for the one that God has for you.

Try it… it will reveal so much about yourself & about the relationship.

From my heart to yours

Grace

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Faith is the Key that Unlocks

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Matthew 9:20-22″Just then a woman who had been subjected to bleeding for twelve years came up behind Him & touched the edge of His cloak, she said to herself, “If I only touch His cloak, I will be healed.” Jesus turned and saw her “Take heart, daughter, your Faith has healed you” And the woman was healed that Moment.”

This portion of scripture is my 2nd fave after the story of the woman at the well, because it captures what Faith can do! How the Faith of a Mustard seed can move mountains in your life!

You can imagine what this woman had to go through just to get next to Jesus; crowds were following Him, but she didn’t care, she knew this was her only moment to get close to Him, she was bloody & unclean & back in those days when women were on their menstrual cycle they were set apart for 7days, that’s how unclean they were viewed in those days… Yet this woman bled constantly for 12years! But in this moment she didn’t care, all she was after was her Healing.

So many lessons from this portion;-

FAITH!

Jesus felt power leave His body in the midst of the crowds that surrounded Him, when she touched Him He felt it & turned back to ask who has touched me… Jesus then turned & saw her & told her “Your Faith has healed you, and the woman was healed from that moment”

Faith brings healing… Jesus didn’t have to touch her or pray over her, but the simple act of touching His garment & believing that she would be healed, is what delivered her from years of struggle!

So if you have a struggle that has challenged you for years, it doesn’t matter how long! All you need to do is work on your Faith & stand on His word;

Matthew 21:22 says “And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive if you have Faith” Romans 10:17 says “Faith comes by hearing & by hearing the word of God” Hebrews 11:26- “And without Faith it is impossible to please God, for whoever who would draw near to God must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who seek Him” & lastly for now Hebrews 11:1-“Now Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen”. All these scriptures show you that Faith is the Key that unlocks, Faith is the Promise of things hoped for & not seen & without it we can’t please God & neither will we see our promise. And Faith is the courage to ignore your reality and see through hopeful eyes, that your situation can be different! It all boils down to Faith! So I challenge you this new year to have more Faith! For Faith will heal, Faith will restore & Faith will make you bold!

INSTANT POWER

Faith unlocks the door to instant Power! The woman struggled for 12years & in an instant she touched His Garment & her faith finally healed her! This was her last straw! This desperate move was all she had and was the thing that finally brought her healing! instant healing!

So you may be seeking for answers in the wrong place, but the moment you seek His face, desperately & earnestly seek Him & only Him! Your healing will come faster than you know it, for your Faith will please Him & your Faith has the power to cause Supernatural change! Imagine deciding to not see life as it is, but instead as the things you hope for & in an instant that comes to pass because you were bold enough to have the faith to Believe.

BE BOLD

To get the results this woman got! You have to be Bold! You have to be willing to leave where you are & go & seek! She left her house because she heard that Jesus will be passing in her town so in her bad state she desperately & boldly made it through the crowds, probably pushed & shoved until she could touch His Garment!

To receive healing you must be bold & intentional, walking in Purpose! What is your Purpose? And what are you willing to do to get it? Or are you just passing time, hoping & waiting! James 2:17 says Faith without works is dead!! so you have to be bold & act on your Faith to see results!

FAVOUR

Faith will give you Favour from the Lord! above I shared that Faith pleases God! And indeed in this story we we see that truth! There were crowds following Jesus all seeking His miracles, I’m sure many touched Him, reached out to Him, asking for a thing or two, but Jesus felt her, He stopped His journey & turned to speak to the woman & called her daughter!

I don’t know about you, but my heart swells each time I read His response to her! Because it shows that Faith grabs His attention! Faith can make Jesus change direction & focus on you! And recognize you as His Child. Faith can set you apart from everyone else and give you favour from God! Hallelujah🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

Faith is the answer… That desperate cry of Faith is what God needs to hear from you, that honest call for help, that brokenness & desire to just be where He is… Is your breakthrough!

Have Faith & watch as 2017 becomes your year of miracles, breakthroughs & restoration… Healing is here if only we just have more Faith.

Bless His name🙏🏾

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Gratitude- Lessons 2016

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2016 Thank you for the Validation🙏🏾

When God decides to pleasantly surprise You! He surely does!

I’ve shared this before…

You see this year started off very rough for me! I started it off with a Fast, a Spiritual Fast- that led to one of the toughest spiritual warfares I’ve ever experienced! I never thought it would end or if I would make it out restored- but God is so able! & so Faithful!

I had to go through what I did so that He could be back on my throne as my King & nobody else! We serve a Jealous God, so when we put others on that pedestal- it won’t be long before He reclaims His position no matter how painful it may be. I know that sounds ruthless! not the sweet, encouraging stuff you’re used too huh? But that same loving, friend is also a Just Father who also practices Tough Love which we all need at one point or another.

For me the testing moments grew my Faith exponentially, anyone who knows me, like really knows me, can see and or sense the change. It humbled me & reminded me of the bigger picture, which is to die to self each day so that He may live in me & through me fulfill His Purpose. I am only but a vessel, here for the service of Christ & others & that is and should be the only thing that matters.

And when I finally accepted that reality & decided to look at life with Grateful eyes; doors begun to open, wounds begun to heal & the joy of the Lord became my Strength & His Peace that surpasses all Understanding became my dwelling place.

So even this undeserving Accolade only came after I learned this lesson… so my other grand lesson from 2016 is- stay Grateful! for if we remain Grateful in all things the Good Lord will give you even more to be Grateful for🙏🏾

Keep an Attitude of Gratitude, for it will surely elevate your Altitude, but not that you should gloat! but as a show of God’s Favour and Grace and all Glory belongs to Him.

Thanx again Business Daily Africa🙏🏾It is a Humbling Honour to be a Top 40 Under 40 Woman… Still Surreal.

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